Young Adults

It is bizarre, looking at my life. I have such a wretched tendency to avoid maturity. Throughout college, throughout marriage, throughout seminary, I continue in my childish manner. I play WoW and other assorted video games. I am lax in my bible readies and devotionals. My hygiene is lackluster as I'm sure my wife will most readily attest. Even the very thing I think I should devote my entire life to, the acquisition and teaching of biblical and theological knowledge, I procrastinate and care little about.

My life has been a sad tale due to my immaturity. My friendships weaken. My marriage tenses. My work relationships are strained. My house relationships (as I currently live and have lived in another man's home) are always just on the brink of confrontation. I spend half my life pretending that I'm a responsible adult and the other half shirking those very same responsibilities.

The future is terrifying. For the first time in my recollection, I will be employed full time at a position in Chik-Fil-A Mentor. For the first time, I feel inspired, concerned over my performance. If I succeed, I will be a stable bread winner for my family, a successful adult in at least one fashion. If I fail, I will most probably get fired, or worse, eke out an existence of self-loathing and job-loathing. I have another job, working as a teacher in a homeschool program. If I succeed, children shall know about biology, physical science, and logic. If I fail, they will be unprepared for their future education.

Adulthood is responsibility, serious business. Success and Failure are grand things, real potentialities. There is no one to hold my hand, no one to let me slip by if I don't do well enough. Real life, real consequences. God save me. At least I have a life interesting enough to write about again.